Everday is one day closer

Everyday that I wake up is one day closer to this nightmare being over. It s one day closer to not having to put a fake smile when I am out.

I will not have to think before I answer a question about how many children I have. To most that is a simple question but to Birthmothers that is a question we dread. We are always thinking what should I say because either way is going to open a door that we would rather have closed. If we say yes then there is oh do you have pictures where do they go to school etc... on the other hand if you say no you get this look of sorrow like you poor woman.

As for myself I have learned to try and stay away from the subject all together. There are people that know but not everyone. You have to be special to me since I know the story is going to have to come out once you know. I pick and choose. Maybe that is right or maybe it is not this is how I choose to walk my path.

I am still trying to figure out how I am going to begin and tell my story on my blog. Where to begin?

Is it going to help the pain?

So many questions and not enough answers.

I am a Birth Mother not a Dirty Secret

I am a Birth Mother and not a Dirty Secret. It is not a sweaw word or something that has to be sept under a rug.

I am important.

Do not judge me you have not walked in my shoes.

Being a birth Mother is special you have enough love in you that you are able to sacrifice the love that you have and the pain that you will alwys bear to make sure that there is a better life out there for the precious life that you have given birth to.

The story that I have is long and there are many twists and turns. There are good days and bad mostly I am just Coping with a Smile.

It is time that I come out and share what I have been through so that others may share what has gone while on their path while not having to worry about being judged. It is time to let go of the pain and sorrow it is time to start healing.

I know that I am not the only person out there that is dealing with the pain that I am. I also know that people do not want to talk about it.

When you are on the other side of the coin Oh you know that is okay you are able to cry and you look like you are this wonderful person. Let me say some things:

We are not all Drug Atticts

We are not all Whores

We are not all just wanting to throw our children away.

We are not all bad people.

We Love

We Hurt

We Remember EveryDay

No matter how hard it is going to be to relive all of this I am going to go sown this path so that maybe one person will not have to feel what I have felt all these years.

My story will follow soon.

If there is anyone that would like to share please feel free. We have to stand together so we can get to the next step the day that we will be whole again.

Here is to another day of Coping with a Smile.